* Originally written and briefly posted on 12th April 2019 in Liverpool UK, and republished today 3rd November 2019 in Chester UK, without amendments to what follows
I wanted to write to you and explain why I have done the wrongs I have done over the past two years or so – and also, for the very same reasons, the rights.
I am not just motivated, I am driven: driven and obsessed by my personal experience of injustice, but also by a perceived wider one. Perceived by myself all too clearly, for sure; far more tragically, utterly ignored by the sufferers and victims.
I am driven to deliver a liberating and people-empowering software platform. I shall not give up, however hard the bastards destroy my desire to exist.
I honestly, sincerely mean this.
I was locked up illegally by the state in 2003 under mental health legislation for a month, for not being able to evidence my intuition about a surveillance being actioned on my person. Ten years later, Edward Snowden did succeed in evidencing everything I sensed to be the case in 2003, and for whose perceiving I was locked away under false pretences.
I was locked away because it was my intuition – as a person possessed (sometimes literally!) of a hyper-sensitive mind – that allowed me to detect and connect all the things I saw with such certainty. THEY assumed I had privileged information. What actually I had was a privileged brain.
In 2018, one of the three men who had been on the tribunal that decided my imprisonment in 2003 was charged and sentenced for being in possession of 17,000 extreme child porn photos and videos, after a year-long investigation by Cheshire police. He only received a 20-month prison sentence from what one presumes was a friendly judge. What’s more, the prison sentence was suspended. This extreme child pornographer was free to continue his abuses as soon as the sentence was handed down.
Incidentally, after I was released from prison, back in 2003, he had become our family GP: my CHILDREN’S GP, for chrissakes.
This GP had also been my father’s close friend. And my father had been the second of the three men on the tribunal that had put me away. My father was a bully, and used to regularly walk naked around the house in my presence when I was a child. My mother was advised by five CATHOLIC priests – during a consultation period of two months some few years ago – to divorce him. She foolishly neglected to take them up on this astonishing admission of marital breakdown.
These were two of the three men the UK state used in 2003 to silence me.
I was framed and set up and drugged and destroyed professionally and emotionally over the following decade and a half by this state.
So this is why now I would love for this software project to exist, even if – one day – I shall no longer.
I NEVER want ANYONE to be in my exposed, vulnerable position. I want all peoples, whatever their race, creed or belief system, to be able to show mainly white upper-middle-aged men, ostensibly much as myself, who rule – nay, lord over! – the world with their precious numbers, that emotions are not emotive but straightforwardly rational. Arational if you must, but AT LEAST arational: NEVER irrational.
And I NEVER want to hear this story again: never hear that another has experienced the same as the past two decades of my life have delivered to me.
Have a grand Friday, C_____.
I hope, somewhere in your being, you may now begin to understand that my irrational behaviours to you, even as unacceptable and unjust on my part, were grounded in origens of pure reason.
I simply wanted to discover the pure and unalloyed truth; and whether rightly or wrongly, I sensed intuitively that maybe you had access to it.
As unalloyed and pure as the very best arabica.
As pure as that.
For everything else, I am deeply ashamed of my behaviours, and am really sorry that I have made life difficult for you, as I surely must have done during this period.
There is no such thing as irrational; everything has a reason. But even a reason, even a good reason, does not necessarily equal an excuse.
I accept this now, and ask your forgiveness.
Mil, 12th April 2019, Liverpool UK